” Lisa and Mike have Type A personalities. Before the children were born they worked long hours. Lisa was in the office daily at 8 a.m. and often not home until 7 or 7:30p.m. Sometimes she had evening dinners to attend and she often took work home on weekends during a crunch. Mike worked equally long hours and traveled once a month for two to three days. They knew they needed a Nanny – Au pair, someone who could take full-charge with the twins when they were not at home.
They also knew thy needed to make some adjustments to their work schedules. Lisa had some flexibility at work to set more reasonable hours. It was her challenge to keep them. Mike had less flexibility but was determined to be more available for the kids. They shared the household responsibilities equally before the kids were born. They vowed to share the parenting responsibilities equally now that the kids were here.
On one of those rainy San Francisco days with both kids running around the house, Mary felt trapped. She also felt resentful She was cranky and short with the kids. She felt like the “bad mother” she had most wanted not to become.
Mary knew she needed a break from the kids. A. couple of days a week for a few hours would make the difference. She envisioned going for a walk alone along the water or having an uninterrupted conversation over lunch with a friend. She knew on this most terrible of days a short break would be the best for her and the best for the kids.
Mary didn’t want a full-charge Nanny / Au pair. She didn’t need someone to take on a lot of the responsibilities for the girls. She just needed someone who could provide some respite. ”
Types of Nannies and Nanny Arrangements
Some parents begin the process of creating a Nanny / Au pair arrangement without thinking of alternative, creative solutions to what they need. Others know what they need but they define it as a Nanny / Au pair search when in fact it’s something else. In both situations, time and effort are spent “barking up the wrong tree.”
There are nine types of Nannies and five types of Nanny arrangements. When considering what is best for your family at this time in your family life, it’s important to look wide and to look ahead. Often parents are focused on their immediate childcare needs and neglect to give their search a wider, long-term perspective. Most families need more than one Nanny / Au pair to cover those situations when their child is sick or when their Nanny / Au pair is sick or on vacation. Others need a Nanny / Au pair for evenings and weekends. Having a list of one or two Nannies / Au pairs that could cover these situations is important. It is also important to look ahead. To become an Au pair in Australia register here as au pair.
Most families will require some form of childcare assistance for the first five years of their children’s lives until they begin a full day at elementary school. Many more need childcare support for the after-school hours throughout the elementary school years.
Nine Types of Nannies
Nanny: Provides full-charge childcare either full-time or part-time with both parents working inside or outside the home.
Mother’s Helper: Works alongside a stay-at-home parent assisting in managing both the care of the children and the household.
Family Assistant: Provides household support to parents allowing the parent to focus on caring for their children. A family assistant also provides as- needed childcare when the parent is not available to do so.
Au-Pair:
A young woman between the ages of 18 and 26 years who immigrates to another country to provide up to 40 hours per week of childcare in return for a small stipend, room/ board and the cultural experience of living with an American family for one year, with the option to extend to two years.
Post-partum Doula; Specializes in the care of newborns and provides support to the parents and care for their newborn to four months of age on a flexible schedule, including nights.
Housekeeper: Provides housecleaning services primarily but also as-needed childcare when the parent or Nanny/ Au pair is not available to do so.
Baby-sitter: Supervises and cares for children as needed, most often evenings and weekends.
Special Needs Therapist: A licensed, qualified clinician who provides therapeutic services to a child with special needs in collaboration with the parents and other professionals.
Tutor: A licensed, qualified teacher who tutors a child in a specific subject area in collaboration with the parents, teacher and other professionals
Types of Childcare Arrangements
Live-Out: The Nanny comes to the family’s home to perform her duties
Share Care: Two or more families partner to hire a Nanny who provides care for both children in either one or both of the families’homes. Both families share responsibility equally for the compensation/benefits and support to the Nanny.
Live In: The Nanny / Au pair lives in the family’s home. Some families hire a Nanny or Au pair to live in their home for their scheduled work days, returning to their own families on their days off.
Staffed Household: Childcare is provided by more than one Nanny to ensure 60+ hours per week of childcare, including seven days per week coverage.
Co-Op: Two or more families share the care of all children in one or more of the families’ homes, swapping days or hours with each other in a mutually- determined, fair arrangement.
Which type of Nanny/ Au pair best meets your needs?
Common situations and their solutions:
You are a working mother who enjoys her career and raising her children in partnership with a childcare provider who gives you peace of mind so you can work successfully. Solution: Nanny and Au pair
You are a SAHM who needs an extra set of hands to care for your children while getting some help with the household responsibilities. Solution: Mother’s Helper or Au pair.
You are a SAHM or a working parent and need help managing the household and childcare. Often the children are in school full-time allowing time for household management responsibilities. Solution: Family assistant or Au pair.
You share 100% of the responsibility for the children with your spouse or partner but need a “date night” weekly to give some adult time to your relationship. Solution: Baby-sitter
You have had a full-time Nanny since your child was a newborn but no longer need full-time care since he started preschool. Solution: Either part-time Nanny or Au pair.
You are a parent expecting your first child, a second child or multiples without family support for the first three months after the baby comes home from the hospital. Solution: Post-partum Doula
You are a family that requires more than sixty hours of childcare over six to seven days a week, including overnight care and travel. Solution: More than one Nanny or a combination of Nanny, Family Assistant or Baby-sitter
You are a parent who provides 100% care for your child but needs someone to clean the house and also care for your child on occasion while you run out to do errands. Solution: Housekeeper with childcare experience and an Au pair.
Worksheet:
Are you working in a profession that requires at least a 40-hour work week and you prefer to work part-time?
Does your employer have job sharing or part-time policies you can utiize? If not, how can you approach your employer to work your desired schedule?
Take a close look at your family life. Are there areas in which you could use some assistance to manage the chilcare, household and work responsibilities? If so, define the areas in which you would want someone to provide assistance and the specific responsibilities they would manage. Will you be sharing these responsibilities with her?
Which responsibilities will you manage exclusively and which will you want to hand over?
Some parents have shared the household responsibilities equally with their partner before the children were born.
Many women find this equal arrangement breaks down after their first child is born. Resentment usually follows. If you find this is happening in your relationship, what kind of childcare or household support could you hand over to a Nanny to make it more equitable?
